College is a challenge. A challenge to your mind, a challenge to your body (who needs sleep??), and often a challenge to your faith, your morals, your standards of right and wrong.
So how do you respond to these challenges? Do you hide under a rock for four years and hope nothing sneaks up on you? Do you throw yourself into the college culture with abandon and hope you can sort the tough stuff out later? How will you decide when to engage and when to take a pass?
I think some times when we face a difficult moral decision, we’d all like it to be as simple as sending in a permission slip to God, “Check ‘yes’ if this is allowed; check ‘no’ if this is a sin.” Sorry, not gonna happen. But if you’re doubting your moral compass, here are some ways to check yourself:
- Everything matters. First off, let’s get one thing clear: everything we think, say, and do affects who we are and how we relate to God and others. Now, you can look at this as an onerous cloud hanging over you or you can think of it as a blessing that every single breath you take is an opportunity to love, ask forgiveness, show mercy, spread joy, offer prayer, be patient, give thanks, promote peace, stand up for the oppressed, and dedicate yourself more fully to God.
- Some things are pretty clear-cut. We may struggle with the idea, but some things are simply forbidden by God because, like a good Father, he really does know what’s best for us. The limits placed on our actions are laid out for us in Scripture and throughout the Tradition of our Church and are there to lead us on a path that allows us to be freed from the bonds of sin and able to love truly. I find the opening list from the Didache (a first century Church document) helpful for learning to integrate God’s commandments into my own heart and actions.
- Accountability to others helps. Whether it’s through confession and counsel with a priest, which we can’t encourage enough, or through your OCF peers who know you and your Orthodox standards well, accountability for your actions helps you make decisions more clearly. If you’re not sure if going to some party is a good idea or being in a particular situation will be healthy, having someone who loves you and whom you trust to call upon can be invaluable.
- Prayer is always the key. Having a regular and rich prayer life which includes both communal and personal prayer time and the reading of Scripture is the sure way to develop a discerning heart. Letting Christ dwell within you will let you see with His eyes and desire with the will of His Father. A nun once suggested to us in a College Conference workshop that we make a commitment to pray, “Lord bless this,” before everything we did. Her advice was that if we couldn’t ask for a blessing on our actions, then it probably wasn’t the right decision.
You’ll be faced with all kinds of challenges and moral decisions in college and throughout your life–sometimes you’ll make the right decision, sometimes the wrong one. When you go the wrong way, come to your senses quickly, run to God, and sincerely repent. Sin is missing the mark which means when you mess up that you’re in need of more target practice (prayer) and a good coach (a spiritual guide). Always remember that as you learn and grow, fall and get back up, God is with you, He loves you, He desires your salvation, and His Church always opens Her arms to you.