Help! I’m Stuck Inside!

Help! I’m Stuck Inside!

by | | Blog, Spiritual Life, Transitions

By Evyenia Pyle

I have officially been cooped up in my house for a week, but that’s not the worst part: this was supposed to be my spring break, so not only am I stuck at home but my mom is here, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom; she’s really cool. However it’s been way too many days of just each other’s company. I have found myself hiding away in my room losing hope for the rest of the academic year while the rest of the world around me is in chaos. 

My mom has been reading a lot to pass the time and recently read a book called Time and Despondency. This title seems perfect for this occasion because not only do I have way too much time on my hands, but I am despondent. What is despondency? According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary, despondency is “being in extremely low spirits; loss of hope; depression.” Now, my despondency started with me being bored and sad because I am stuck inside and couldn’t go on vacation. But as I was listening to other people complain about how tired they were and how sad they were that things are getting cancelled and that they have to stay inside, it further saddened me that so many more people are also feeling a sense of despondency (even though it was also nice to know I wasn’t alone in my feelings). It wasn’t until recently when churches started closing their doors and services were getting cancelled that I realized the severity of this situation. The loss of church, especially during Lent, a time where I needed it most, was really hard for me. My sadness and tiredness have escalated. I am despondent. 

Then something happened; God knew what I needed to hear. I accidentally came across a quote from St. Barsanuphius of Optina, and it was exactly what I needed. “You need not be despondent. Let those be despondent who do not believe in God. For them sorrow is burdensome, of course, because besides earthly enjoyment they have nothing. But believers must not be despondent, for through sorrows they receive the right of sonship, without which is impossible to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” It made me realize: yes, our current situation isn’t fun, and yes, I am so bored being cooped up in my house, but we have so much to look forward to. Because we believe in God, we know that even in this time of social distancing and quarantine we are loved by Him who is Himself Love. We know that even in our sufferings Christ won’t abandon us. We know that even when we feel “extremely low” someone is going to be there to catch us.

My dearest friends, now is not the time to be despondent. It is time to do things that benefit your soul and your health. Go on a walk, clean your room, call a friend, and pray. There are so many things we can do to be active during this time. Remember, there are people out there who have no hope. We must be the examples to show that Christ is our hope. We need to remind the people that God is our refuge, and He will keep us safe according to His will. As St. Barsanuphius said, through sorrows we can be in closer communion with Christ. 

I am challenging myself to be respondent and not despondent; hopeful and not hopeless. I hope you will join me in this challenge of responding to those around us and praying for the peace of the world. People are scared, but we know that Christ has so much joy to offer in the salvation we yearn for. So, let us respond in love and let us support one another, we will get through this together and with Christ. 

As always feel free to reach out to me anytime at publicationsstudent@ocf.net, especially now in this time of quarantine: I am quite bored and would love to chat. 

Evyenia Pyle

Evyenia Pyle

Publications Student Leader

Hi, I am Evyenia Pyle, and I am the publications student this year! I am in my second year of college studying speech and hearing sciences! I play 12 instruments as of right now, and in my free time I play with my dog. I am really excited about this upportunity. Never hesitate to reach out with questions, comments, or if you are interested in writing a blog! publicationsstudent@ocf.net .

Saint Ephraim’s Prayer

Saint Ephraim’s Prayer

by | | Student Reflection

Lenten season! Oh yes! Who’s excited? This guy’s excited!

There’s just a different feeling when Lent comes around. If you got to attend Forgiveness Vespers on Sunday evening, you know what I’m talking about. The music changes, the color changes, the hymnography is different. The transition to Lent, for which we have been preparing for so long, has final finished. We have arrived.

The moment it hit me was Saint Ephraim’s prayer. It’s an incredibly powerful prayer that is characteristic of Lent. If you’re not familiar with it, it goes as such:

Oh Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, faint-heartedness, lust of power, and idle talk.

But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant.

Yeah oh Lord and King, grant me to see my own sings, and not to judge my brother, for Thou art blessed, unto ages of ages. Amen.

Oof. Like, c’mon. Let’s break that down, bit by bit.

Oh Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth–

Let’s go. It’s game time. This is Lent, this is our salvation, this is our life. We don’t have time for slothful. Let’s get it movin’.

–faint-heartedness–

And we’re going to need to be brave about it, too.

–lust of power–

Lent isn’t about proving what we can do. It isn’t about fasting as hard as possible just so we can say we did, sending Snapchats of our vegan meals to our friends and family members so that they can see our effort. Lent is about the discipline of the self, not the aggrandizing of it. Publican, not Pharisee.

–and idle talk.

This one is twofold, I’d say. Firstly, we want to abstain from gossip, from foul language. Lent is a good time for silence, so if we’re going to speak, let’s make it count. Secondly, let’s make it count. If we said we were going to fast, if we said we were going to make a Lenten effort, let’s not take that idly. Horton Hears A Who, man. Mean what you say, and say what you mean.

But give rather the spirit of chastity–

There’s gotta be purity. Lent is about removing the worldly distractions between us and the Lord. Food can be one of those worldly distractions, but there are others, and we should be aware of and prepared for that.

–humility–

Oof. The toughest of the tough. Humility. Remember, being humble isn’t about being low, it isn’t feeling poorly about ourselves. Humility comes from the same root word as hummus–it means being of the earth, being earth level, being exactly where and who we are. Lent is an opportunity for self-realization, for introspection, and we can capitalize on that.

–patience–

Oof. The second toughest. That’s the thing about Lent, it’s a forty-day process for a reason. Growth occurs over time, and that’s really frustrating when you want to grow. It’d be ideal if it occurred, you know, now. But it doesn’t, and it won’t. So if the Lenten effort doesn’t have a marked change in your life in the first week; the second week; the third week; that’s okay. Keep on that grind. It’s comin’.

–and love to Thy servant.

And love. I’m not going to presume to have words for love.

But I like ‘Thy servant’ a lot. That’s an important reminder for us. We need to go into Lent with role definition, an understanding of who we are: servants of Christ. It validates our obedience during the Lenten season.

Yeah oh Lord and King–

Yeah. Servant.

–grant me to see my own sins and not to judge my brother–

The Publican and the Pharisee. The Prodigal Son. Zacchaeus Sunday. If there’s anything these preparatory Sundays tell us, it’s that our own sin is the focus. The Pharisee was stuck on his successes; the elder son, on his brother’s sins; the people, on Zacchaeus’ natural limitations. The focus is on the scariest thing: our own sins, our own failures, and what we can do to address them.

–for Thou art blessed unto ages of ages. Amen.

When praying Saint Ephraim’s prayer, the prescription is to do a full prostration after each stanza, for three total. My hope is that this prayer hits you as hard as it hits me, that we can both make it part of our daily prayer rule this Lenten season.

Whoo! Lenten season! Yes!

-B